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This Close to Happy: A Reckoning with Depression, by Daphne Merkin
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Review
"[Merkin narrates] with insight, grace and excruciating clarity, in exquisite and sometimes darkly humorous prose . . . For all its highly personal focus, [This Close to Happy] is an important addition to the literature of mental illness." ―Andrew Solomon, The New York Times Book Review (cover review)"I will not be the last to thank Ms. Merkin for resisting this desire [to die] long enough to give us what is one of the most accurate, and therefore most harrowing, accounts of depression to be written in the last century . . . Ms. Merkin speaks candidly and beautifully about aspects of the human condition that usually remain pointedly silent." ―John Kaag, Wall Street Journal"Wry, self-aware . . . a work of lacerating intelligence about a condition that intellect cannot heal." ―The New Yorker"[A] triumph on many levels . . . As insightful and beautifully written as it is brave . . . This Close to Happyearns a place among the canon of books on depression . . . books that offer comfort to fellow depressives and elucidation for those lucky enough to have dodged its scourge." ―Heller McAlpin, Washington Post"[A] stunning self-portrait." ―Christian Lorentzen, New York“A hybrid of memoir, case study, and confession, which joins such classics as Kay Redfield Jamison’s An Unquiet Mind and Andrew Solomon’s The Noonday Demon in the contemporary literature of depression. . . Merkin has written [a book] that will illuminate, challenge, and possibly even console.†―Adam Kirsch, Tablet"[This Close to Happy is] a testament to Merkin's commitment to capturing the grim distortions that depression can produce. . . This Close to Happy is more than a memoir of mental illness. Merkin is a good writer―perceptive, provocative, relentlessly interrogative of her own experience―and despite her difficult subject matter, she does, in this memoir, what good writers do: she sends urgent, cogent dispatches from another world, a protracted battlefield that we might not otherwise know about." ―Lisa Fetchko, Los Angeles Review of Books"[A] compelling chronicle . . . Merkin's work is unique in describing the mundane burden of a deeply felt and closely observed life lived with depression . . . [H]er account of depression is both personal, literary and, at the same time, existential." ―Tom Teicholz, Forbes“Merkin is a wonderful writer whose keen eye for detail and human foibles enables her to brilliantly light her subject. . . . In page after page, she delivers elegant, evocative prose.†―Psychology Today"This Close to Happy is as illuminating and hard to put down as it is painful." ―People "Merkin is a fine stylist . . . She has at her disposal wide-ranging allusions, and she draws on poetry with a charming ease, a frankness that assumes her reader’s sophistication, even as she capably holds the reader’s hand and clarifies the relevance of a particular reference.†―Forward"Daphne Merkin exhibits shocking honesty in allowing readers to look into her journey. . . Her depth of writing experience on the topic comes through in emotion-packed prose . . . This book offers the education necessary for readers need to follow depression as it rises and falls in one woman’s life, as well as in the lives of thousands of others." ―Wyatt Massey, America Magazine“Merkin’s deeply intimate account of living with clinical depression is illuminating, heartbreaking, and powerfully written. With lively prose and shrewd observations . . . Merkin’s exploration into her complicated yet unconditional devotion to her mother is rendered with compassion and profound perception. Merkin eloquently blends the personal with the researched; her intellectual tenacity and emotional rawness impress as much as they entertain. This book is a wonderful addition to literature about the unrelenting battle against depression.†―Publishers Weekly (starred review)“Dark thoughts hover over virtually every page of this mesmerizing memoir, and yet there is also the very real possibility of hope. . . Merkin’s exceptional book belongs on the same shelf as such classics as William Styron’s Darkness Visible (1990) and Kay Redfield Jamison’s An Unquiet Mind (1995).†―Booklist (starred review)“[Merkin] has a signature method to her writing, one that exuberantly crosshatches high- and lowbrow, and one that reveals and protects in equal measure.†―Bookforum “Opening This Close to Happy was like getting a long letter from my best friend at sleepaway camp. I had no idea it was this bad for you, was my first thought, and then, we have both been so paralyzed by grief. This is why we all feel so lonely right now―the longing, the depression, the comedy of it all, wrapped up in a story about sex and Judaism, our mothers. I felt so whole when snuggling up alone with Merkin’s brilliant, full-of-feeling masterpiece. I flew through it and hated to let go when it ended.†―Jill Soloway“Fierce, clear-eyed, and beautifully honest, Daphne Merkin’s is an essential voice. This Close to Happy, a lucid and elegantly written account of her lifelong struggles withdepression, unsettles and illuminates in equal measure. This is an important book.†―Claire Messud“If the face presented to the world is a mask to protect ourselves, Daphne Merkin bravely removes hers, revealing the truth of herself, courageously exploring, seeking―and sometimes even finding―the hope that glimmers at the end of the tunnel. Please read as soon as possible.†―Gloria Vanderbilt“This beautifully written tale of Daphne Merkin’s depressive demons is by far the most accurate and human account of depression and its impact that I have ever read. I highly recommend it, both to those in the mental health professions and to those who care about the suffering of their loved ones.†―Glen O. Gabbard, M.D.“The greatness of this book is in the way Merkin takes the measure of the adversary.†―Peter Sacks“D. W. Winnicott wrote that depression is the fog over the battlefield. In this extraordinarily lucid and moving book, Daphne Merkin illuminates the dark and desperate battle that depression can be. This is a book for all those who know nothing about depression and for those who know too much.†―Adam Phillips “This Close to Happy belongs on the shelf with William Styron's Darkness, Visible and Andrew Solomon's The Noonday Demon. It brings a stunningly perceptive voice to the forefront of the conversation about depression, one that is both reassuring and revelatory.†―Carol Gilligan, author of In a Different Voice"This Close to Happy is honest, fearless in the way we have come to expect from Daphne Merkin, and, as a bonus, frankly informative. From Merkin we get the inside view of navigating a chronic psychiatric illness to a realistic outcome. As she writes, 'the opposite of depression is not a state of unimaginable happiness, but a state of relative all-right-ness.' For some, that insight alone will speak volumes. Her candor discussing the fears, tribulations, and triumphs of a lifetime of treatment will be valuable for anyone who loves someone with depression but makes necessary reading for the mental health professionals on the other side of the couch." ―Harold S. Koplewicz, M.D., President, Child Mind Institute
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About the Author
DAPHNE MERKIN's writing frequently appears in The New York Times, Bookforum, Departures, Travel + Leisure, W, Vogue, Tablet Magazine, and other publications. She is a former staff writer for The New Yorker and The New York Times and a regular contributor to ELLE. Merkin has taught writing at the 92nd Street Y, Marymount College, and Hunter College. Her previous books include Enchantment, which won the Edward Lewis Wallant Award for best novel on a Jewish theme, and the collections of essays, Dreaming of Hitler and The Fame Lunches, which was a New York Times Notable Book of the Year. She lives in New York City.
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Product details
Paperback: 304 pages
Publisher: Picador; Reprint edition (February 27, 2018)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 1250159296
ISBN-13: 978-1250159298
Product Dimensions:
5.2 x 0.8 x 8 inches
Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
3.6 out of 5 stars
62 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#128,171 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
Brilliant, scathing, heartbreaking and raw. This is the most powerfully honest book on depression and child abuse that I have ever read. Merkin's bereft childhood of brutality and lack seems to be the fertile ground that created her despondency and the tenacious, pervasive longing for suicide. Her parents appear blatantly psychologically disordered, meting out damage as casually as one would order lunch. Merkin is by turns, attached to, and repelled by, a vicious mother, who seems both stunningly narcissistic and psychopathic. I was frustrated by Merkin's struggle to detach from her mother, much in the same way that abused wives return to their abusers, expecting different outcomes. Merkin was drowning in depression, yet repeatedly returned to her parents seeking solace, approval and a revisionist history that neither parent was emotionally equipped to provide. The repeated returns to the abusive environment only seemed to exacerbate the depression and parental control, all in a continuous self-perpetuating loop. I rooted for Merkin to cut the toxic ties in favor of mental health and self actualization, but her journey to contentment was more circuitous. I applaud Merkin's ability to craft riveting and beautiful prose from the wreckage and horror of her early years. This book is both difficult to read at times, and equally hard to put down. My hope is that Merkin never chooses to succumb to the lure of suicide, but instead continues to write, to enjoy simple pleasures and allows herself to heal. A highly recommended read.
I quite loved Merkin's literary asides, I am a reader as well. This book definely brought me into depression, a mood disorder I don't happen to have but the writing here is somehow contagious. I didn't mind that terrible feeling as it lifted when I finished the book. Merkin's strength here is showing in blazingly purposeful detail: The parents, the other kids, and her childhood. If one image stands out for me it is of her Jewish mother drawing Nazi imagery on her arms. I mean, these parents should have been fined, in my honest opinion. My confusion lies in how do the author become happier? Was it the pain pills she mentions. Or the small home on Long Island that she rents, or was it having the energy to have friends visit? Her daughter's love? Her love for her daughter? I am sure all those helped but the leap from abject misery to 'close to happy' wasn't clear to me and so must affect many depressives looking for concrete answers. Merkins writes so well but what she left out is telling. 4 big stars
I read this while severely depressed and found it helpful. This isn't the point of the book—it's a beautifully-written, insightful, firsthand account of someone's lifelong struggle with depression—but as I imagine a large number of people who pick up this book will, like me, be looking for some insight into their own situation, I'll say that I, for one, found some. I, like Daphne, sometimes struggle to accept depression as an illness as opposed to a personal failing, even as I live it, and reading someone else's honest account—experiencing empathy and finding many shared experiences along the way—encouraged me to be a bit kinder to myself.
I'm not quite sure what the author was trying to do as the text jumped between battling depression and her unhappy childhood without getting to a point. I'm not sure there is a there there to this story or why this author's story was chosen.
I purchased this book because I was in a deep clinical depression - a battle I - like the author - have fought since childhood. Reading how others - especially fellow authors - manage their depression is usually insightful and helpful to me.Sadly, this book did nothing to help me to cope with my bout with depression. In fact, it just made it worse, exacerbated by the fact that I had wasted money on this book. Like the other one-star reviewers, I needed to skip ahead - a LOT.Merkin's style of writing might be okay for a New Yorker article. But slogging through nearly 300 pages about emotions written in a journalistic style is too much for this reader. And the psychiatrists Merkin saw certainly did not help her to put her childhood behind her. Sixtysomething is way to old to still be blaming one's parents.
This memoir is the most moving, brave and brilliant book I have ever read about depression. Heartbreaking and harrowing, THIS CLOSE TO HAPPY, A Reckoning with Depression is, remarkably, empty of any bitterness. There are moments of aching tenderness: climbing on her mother's lap as she (her mother) sang in a beautiful voice to the children on the one night a week she put them to bed; waiting by the elevator for her mother to visit at the hospital; an impossible longing for mother love. Daphne Merkin dazzles with her intelligence, wry humor and honesty. A hugely important book for anyone who knows the pain of depression, described with great precision and understanding, or who has a friend of family member going through the hell of depression.
It was riveting and disturbing and beautifully written. I felt very close to her and then a little impatient and wanted to fix her and give her some suggestions, like quit already with the Freudian analysis and try some cognitive techniques.But then I'm worried about her and not objectively observing her writing. Definitely pulled me in, argued wit her that my mother was worse. I would have liked to get closer in to her mind set when she was in the depths of depression,,what sort of thoughts, and I thought she left that kind of vague.Beautiful book, had to be so hard to write, but rewarding.
One of the three best personal descriptions of serious mood disorders for the lay public and professionals (Styron's "Darkness Visible", and K. Redfield-Jamison's "An Unquiet Mind" are the others). A must read for those who suffer from severe depression, or bipolar disorder, their friends, family, and mental health professionals who treat them.
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