Download Ebook , by Kevin Leman
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, by Kevin Leman
Download Ebook , by Kevin Leman
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Product details
File Size: 4961 KB
Print Length: 321 pages
Publisher: Revell (September 1, 2011)
Publication Date: September 1, 2011
Sold by: Amazon Digital Services LLC
Language: English
ASIN: B005BOXOIU
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Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#32,824 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
This book is so terrible that I could not make it past the first CD. The author states that if your children are disrespectful, moody, etc, it is the parents' fault because you are either too permissible or too strict. The way to have well-behaved children is to be perfectly balanced but then never provides any information as to how to achieve this perfect balance. The one piece of advice he does provide is contrary to all parenting advice books for good reason--it's terrible. One of this author's ideas is that if your child is disrespectful, don't say anything at the time or inform the child that the tone is not appropriate. Instead, spring a punishment on him or her hours or days later as a gotcha. In our house, we have rules and consequences and consistency is key. Surprising them with a punishment for a conversation a day before that they forgot would not teach them any lesson. I was hoping for a book to help me relate to them while they enter adolescence when their hormones are raging and they can get angry or cry on a dime. To make matters worse, the author's sexist attitudes make listening to his content very difficult to take. In one example, he imagines a conversation at the dinner table where the son announces his desire for a Corvette. The father begins to lecture about hard work and the mother says, "What is a Corvette?" as if women have no idea about cars because they are women. His assumptions about women are sprinkled throughout, including assuming are the mom is the parent who is too permissive because she gave birth to the child and how pretty actresses are dumb and immoral. Finally, this was a book on CD, but the person who read the book out loud was meant to read fiction books. Self-help books really should not be read in the same tone, with the same dramatic pauses, etc, as a murder/mystery book. It needs to be read in the same tone as how you would carry on a conversation with a friend, or how you would give a TedTalk. Rather than this book, I highly recommend "How to Talk so Teens Will Listen..." That book is focused on how to take action when teens misbehave and help them make wise decisions while remaining calm and in control.
I haven't finished the book yet. However, it makes a lot of sense and things have already changed drastically. Mostly my response to sassy backtalk. Also, it has a huge understanding of what tweens and teens deal with these days. I was really skeptical but thought I'd give it a try. I even told my doctor about it and she is buying it now for her 10 year old. Doesn't matter if your kid is 18 or 9. It is really about how you handle it. Not changing them. Changing your reaction which makes a huge difference.
The advice in this book might be helpful if you're a completely permissive or authortarian parent. But if already have common sense and just happen to be a flawed human being, there is little practical to offer in here. The book seems to be centered in 50s era gender roles: the mom is the center of the house, moms are too permissive and spoil children, if a kid complains about dinner you're supposed to find out what his favorite food in to show that you care about what he thinks.If you find platitudes like "establish healthy boundaries" helpful then this book is for you. But if you want something that is concrete look elsewhere. I really liked Feber & Mazlish: How to talk so teens will listen
Read this one after borrowing the edition for younger children from a friend. Bought this because I have teenagers and was looking for more to relate directly to that age range. Found the book talks mostly about how the Dr. and his wife have done things right and have avoided having issues with their teenagers. It's clear that having teens with respect or responsibility issues can be due to too much leniency from parents when children are young, or lack of consistency - but this book gives no real direction once you figure that out and have a teen. Disappointed with this addition.
This book is such a help with kiddos. It helps me put the burden less on me losing my sanity and repeating myself over and over, and sits the burden square on the shoulders of my kiddos to do what needs to be done so they can do the things they like to do.
Fun book and full of things that really work. Thanks Dr. Leman! I recommend this for any parents of a teenager.I think there could probably be Book 2. Obviously it can't go into all the problems teenagers have, but it does cover a lot.
Great book! The biggest problem is retraining ME--the adult! The bottom line, if you want a new kid/teen by Friday, you have to be a new YOU by Friday. Dr. Leman gives solid, logical advise. The hard part is being consistent and keeping your emotions out of the conflicts with your teen.
Good tips. Mutual respect. I have often done too much for my kids. The advice, "Don't do for your kids what they can do for themselves," was so helpful. It's my mantra whenever I start to do too much.
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